michael jackson, McDonalds and a search for cash.

so i was hanging wit' MJ and he was all touching children all over da place. so i said no MJ you have to stop that. he said a hee hee hee. and then moon walked. i scremed "no michael! you're white now and white people aren't allowed to moonwalk in public!" so we went to McDonalds because we want more ads so we can make money from this blog, and if we reference McDonalds, we get ads from them. so ayways we were there an d we wanted pancakes. MJ also wanted an egg McMuffin but i said "NO MJ! no egg McMuffin! I'm paying and i don't want to pay for an egg McMuffin from mcdonalds!" so he said i do what i want and ran off o the colorful ball pit. i felt bad so i didn't stop him. i finished my pancakes. and MJ said he didn't want his anymore. so i was relaxing with the other paernts when i realized the ball pit was a great place for child molestation. oopsies woopsies. so I went to the ball and there he was. WE CAN NEVER GI BACK TO ARIZONA!!! NEVER!!! 

pedophiles, pirates and peter pan

i do not personally believe in puppets. I think they're just me in wigs and funny hats. so i said to huphpotonous "there's no such thing as muppets" then right out of the sky a kermit fell. so then peter pan came and was like oh no someone every-time you say you don't believe in puppets, somewhere in the world one dies. huphpotonous said no thats fairies, so he flew away to molest children again. then i was scared cuz that muppet was dying and it wasn't good. then i remembered that huphpotonous tears heal all wounds. so i told huphpotonous to cry on that dying frog and she asked how in what way that could possibly help. i said her tears heal people. she said no. phoenix tears cure people in harry potter. so i started beating the dying woman with harry potter only i couldnt find harry potter so I used the quo-ran then muslim people got offended. so i made pigs in a blanket. this did not help matters. they didn't even try them. what's up with that. then i remembered that all muslims loved pancakes. so we all ate pancakes at a party and then shot at the french because everyone can agree on that. and  a group of muslims led by a dachshund is just that much stronger than the french army

laxitives

Well i made donuts, but we ran out of flour, so i used x-lax. We also ran out of milk, so used x lax. I dont know what sugar is either,so i used x-lax. They were al a mode, but i can't make ice cream so i used x-lax. then i put in a pinch of grannies secret ingredient, a pound of x-lax. Then i fed the homeless. Then i was banned from a soup kitchen. Activiaaaaaaa. And thats pretty much what happened. And my photoographer is on vacation, so i wont have and photographs for a  while, but he'll come back somtime next week or my name isn't aristotle alexander muffins I fines cheesecake connoisseur  extrodanair.

pillow building

there's a pillow building in my house. it has treats and i need them for my stomach collection. its going to be delicious as soon as i get through the maze. i won at my first game of melee today. i was like byoo byoo blam chucka chucka chucka kabloom. then zelda one. and it was awesome. i got through the pillows, but there are more food inside that i missed

my first coke ad

here is my first coke ad from when i was just a wee pup ladee

coke

i'm being sponsored by coke. and not the drink. its delicious like butter and salmonella. by yours today and we wont give you the coke with herpes on it*.

--- payed by wristwatch- the crazy homeless man who sells coke on my street

trust the wristwatch touch

purple

oh no i am das purple augh help me someone

space boxing

so i joined this space boxing league and there arew these aliens in it that cheat so yeah 

baguettes are yummy

in my opinion i like baguetes yeap thats the disease for the disease a day calendar

halloween

Well its that time of year again. Im going to dress up as santa claus (because of the obvious family resemblance.) Huphpotonous in going to be a dachshund. Then i said "no way. as long as you liv in my baronial cavity, you and i will be santa claus and the matrix easter bunny. Thats final." I showed... uh... her? or maybe it...

cats cats cats cats

my new favorite reality show cats a tale of south side la premiered tonight however i missed the first episode and here is a pic i found that is probably what the show is about

de other willy boy insists I make a blog post because he says im down on my workload

he's a nancy grace

refrigerator with a face

hey every one i was at sears and i saw the new line of refrigerators with faces they are scary

bats

hey everyone bats can fly now who knew ahhhhhhhh they have stolen the worlds supply of salt oh no help us

chupacabra attack

hey guysss on my recent trip to this lake in an undisclosed location i saw a rare chupacabra attack on a yacht on the lake and with that there was a small scream and forty million deaths

my new farm

hey guys my entrepreneurial heart has extended out onto this small farm in nevada where i built a racetrack for illegally aquired zebras and cats also i have constructed also a small base under ground where i am training rabid squirrels to become less rabid it has worked wonders so far

great new ride at california adventure

hey guys the people at disney are completley redoing california adventure so to make the grizzly river run ride more friendly the took off the grizzly head and used this one

my new body

hey every one i was tired with my body so i went to the doctor and got a new one it suits me much better i think take the new poll if you agree

wizard ari

hey everyone i am now an official member of the harry potter we are losers club and i got this free hat hooray

so my foot is still green. whats up with that. ands i got a new digital cmaera with lots of pictures to take. So mcguiver called cuz i for got to than

k him for the camera. and then he said the vote was unanimous, i am captain cheez-itz