pedophiles, pirates and peter pan

i do not personally believe in puppets. I think they're just me in wigs and funny hats. so i said to huphpotonous "there's no such thing as muppets" then right out of the sky a kermit fell. so then peter pan came and was like oh no someone every-time you say you don't believe in puppets, somewhere in the world one dies. huphpotonous said no thats fairies, so he flew away to molest children again. then i was scared cuz that muppet was dying and it wasn't good. then i remembered that huphpotonous tears heal all wounds. so i told huphpotonous to cry on that dying frog and she asked how in what way that could possibly help. i said her tears heal people. she said no. phoenix tears cure people in harry potter. so i started beating the dying woman with harry potter only i couldnt find harry potter so I used the quo-ran then muslim people got offended. so i made pigs in a blanket. this did not help matters. they didn't even try them. what's up with that. then i remembered that all muslims loved pancakes. so we all ate pancakes at a party and then shot at the french because everyone can agree on that. and  a group of muslims led by a dachshund is just that much stronger than the french army