michael jackson, McDonalds and a search for cash.

so i was hanging wit' MJ and he was all touching children all over da place. so i said no MJ you have to stop that. he said a hee hee hee. and then moon walked. i scremed "no michael! you're white now and white people aren't allowed to moonwalk in public!" so we went to McDonalds because we want more ads so we can make money from this blog, and if we reference McDonalds, we get ads from them. so ayways we were there an d we wanted pancakes. MJ also wanted an egg McMuffin but i said "NO MJ! no egg McMuffin! I'm paying and i don't want to pay for an egg McMuffin from mcdonalds!" so he said i do what i want and ran off o the colorful ball pit. i felt bad so i didn't stop him. i finished my pancakes. and MJ said he didn't want his anymore. so i was relaxing with the other paernts when i realized the ball pit was a great place for child molestation. oopsies woopsies. so I went to the ball and there he was. WE CAN NEVER GI BACK TO ARIZONA!!! NEVER!!! 

pedophiles, pirates and peter pan

i do not personally believe in puppets. I think they're just me in wigs and funny hats. so i said to huphpotonous "there's no such thing as muppets" then right out of the sky a kermit fell. so then peter pan came and was like oh no someone every-time you say you don't believe in puppets, somewhere in the world one dies. huphpotonous said no thats fairies, so he flew away to molest children again. then i was scared cuz that muppet was dying and it wasn't good. then i remembered that huphpotonous tears heal all wounds. so i told huphpotonous to cry on that dying frog and she asked how in what way that could possibly help. i said her tears heal people. she said no. phoenix tears cure people in harry potter. so i started beating the dying woman with harry potter only i couldnt find harry potter so I used the quo-ran then muslim people got offended. so i made pigs in a blanket. this did not help matters. they didn't even try them. what's up with that. then i remembered that all muslims loved pancakes. so we all ate pancakes at a party and then shot at the french because everyone can agree on that. and  a group of muslims led by a dachshund is just that much stronger than the french army

laxitives

Well i made donuts, but we ran out of flour, so i used x-lax. We also ran out of milk, so used x lax. I dont know what sugar is either,so i used x-lax. They were al a mode, but i can't make ice cream so i used x-lax. then i put in a pinch of grannies secret ingredient, a pound of x-lax. Then i fed the homeless. Then i was banned from a soup kitchen. Activiaaaaaaa. And thats pretty much what happened. And my photoographer is on vacation, so i wont have and photographs for a  while, but he'll come back somtime next week or my name isn't aristotle alexander muffins I fines cheesecake connoisseur  extrodanair.

pillow building

there's a pillow building in my house. it has treats and i need them for my stomach collection. its going to be delicious as soon as i get through the maze. i won at my first game of melee today. i was like byoo byoo blam chucka chucka chucka kabloom. then zelda one. and it was awesome. i got through the pillows, but there are more food inside that i missed

my first coke ad

here is my first coke ad from when i was just a wee pup ladee

coke

i'm being sponsored by coke. and not the drink. its delicious like butter and salmonella. by yours today and we wont give you the coke with herpes on it*.

--- payed by wristwatch- the crazy homeless man who sells coke on my street

trust the wristwatch touch

purple

oh no i am das purple augh help me someone

space boxing

so i joined this space boxing league and there arew these aliens in it that cheat so yeah 

baguettes are yummy

in my opinion i like baguetes yeap thats the disease for the disease a day calendar

halloween

Well its that time of year again. Im going to dress up as santa claus (because of the obvious family resemblance.) Huphpotonous in going to be a dachshund. Then i said "no way. as long as you liv in my baronial cavity, you and i will be santa claus and the matrix easter bunny. Thats final." I showed... uh... her? or maybe it...

cats cats cats cats

my new favorite reality show cats a tale of south side la premiered tonight however i missed the first episode and here is a pic i found that is probably what the show is about

de other willy boy insists I make a blog post because he says im down on my workload

he's a nancy grace

refrigerator with a face

hey every one i was at sears and i saw the new line of refrigerators with faces they are scary

bats

hey everyone bats can fly now who knew ahhhhhhhh they have stolen the worlds supply of salt oh no help us

chupacabra attack

hey guysss on my recent trip to this lake in an undisclosed location i saw a rare chupacabra attack on a yacht on the lake and with that there was a small scream and forty million deaths

my new farm

hey guys my entrepreneurial heart has extended out onto this small farm in nevada where i built a racetrack for illegally aquired zebras and cats also i have constructed also a small base under ground where i am training rabid squirrels to become less rabid it has worked wonders so far

great new ride at california adventure

hey guys the people at disney are completley redoing california adventure so to make the grizzly river run ride more friendly the took off the grizzly head and used this one

my new body

hey every one i was tired with my body so i went to the doctor and got a new one it suits me much better i think take the new poll if you agree

wizard ari

hey everyone i am now an official member of the harry potter we are losers club and i got this free hat hooray

so my foot is still green. whats up with that. ands i got a new digital cmaera with lots of pictures to take. So mcguiver called cuz i for got to than

k him for the camera. and then he said the vote was unanimous, i am captain cheez-itz

pigeons

oh no the pigeons are back and have new weapons i am afraid oh and also they are communist

bear dance club

hey guys i just when underground and found this awesome new bear dance club call bearingtons its the best

rain gods

i was just reading an article in sky mall about how rain gods control the weather with drums hooray everyone obey

This is a song dat wiilly boy composed for the musical God and Jack for which I am un consulting producer

Mickey gone wild

mickey mouse has cut loose in disneyland and got a gun and some cigars tgo smoke while he skate boards around watch out bad influence alert

dinosaurs!!!! its the 411

hey this just in dinosaurs are on the planet they just touched down in dallas and are eating people

Huphpotonus in space

hey just wanted to let you know huphpotonus was abducted by aliens and put in space i keep calling ufo hunters but they wont send any one out here ugh!!!

my new friend francois

i have a new friend from france named francois he is very handsome and he has a moustache not really me and francois love to play games together like hide and go home thats my favorite cause i always win

pikmen

so the other wiilly one was playing pikmin, he was like escape to the surface so i said what the surface of the sun? no way jose´ it is torrible there. and he said no in pikmin. and then i was all like i HATE pikmin. those little red ants make my muffins itchy. i still eats them though. the red ones is too spicy! and so are the yellow ones, but not really the yellow ones are sour. them blues ones make me un-thirsty but the purple hurt when they hit my tongue so mash them up with my paw. rom! urmf! smargle! smurfs! potato chips!

Help!!!

oh no here is a shortage of love in the world how could that happen!?!? everyone go out buy a puppy and then love it and i think this crisis will be solved

Puppets again

so i was reading a book about the astronomy of puppet shows and it said that 90% of puppets are fueled by magic and sneezes.  I believe it was true because the publisher fake books also informed me of such truths as aliens and bigfoot as well as the crystal skulls and republicans.  Did you know that the flintstones was really a metaphor for a brain aneurism mixed with hawaiian punch neither did i i read it in more lies volume six 

Mexico!!!!

just got back from mexico and i miss the great food headgear and facial hair oh well anyways chalupas!

Pancakes

so i was thinking maybe they could start selling pancakes that are different colors like green and purple and red and blue and orange and pink and black and white too yeah oh and also different colored kangaroos like a red one and a yellow one with different colored trim also sombreros and moustaches

glue stick

i went to ace hardware and ummmmm oh i bought some glue sticks so then i openned one and ummmmmmm it spilt all over the floor and ummmmmm oh it got on my feet and ummmmmmmm oh it stuck my feet to the ground and ummmmmmmmmmmmmm yeah thats it ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

oh i also enjoy ice cream

hablo espanol

hola me llamo ari.me gusta tu bigote y nos tenemos cuatro pies.  Todos los dias yo como mucho antijijos y me peine me pelo en la manana.  A veces yo leo el libro the moose with loose poops.  Siempre me toca a doler.  No tengo mucho para dar por los meses.  ay dios mio cual es su numero de telephono.  Buenos dias mi padre fidel.  Te amo.  ayer iba a querer pero no pude.  Ay que pasada.  Me choca los personas voladores porque siempre voler.  Adios amigo

conan

So im goin on conan. I know right. but its like WAY past my bed time. so i need to like chug red bull. but im so excited. So take that huphpotanous. i made it on conan before you!!!! you've only been on public access! Oh yeah. noodles just kicked that zombie gorrila

Aris world

IT IS ARI'S WORLD!!!!! ARI HAS GOLDFISH ARI DOES!!! NO ELMO!!!

finally

hey everybody its done so you can stop worrying

Sponsor

Hey everybody thanks for making my site so popular now i have an official sponsor from Crayola colored pencils okay so keep following and buy some colored pencils too

star fox

i bought star fox 64 on the virtual console and was playing it and i died which sucks because i was on the first level

clothes for fish

i have this new idea for clothes for fish and hats too

i think its the only animal that doesnt have clothes and there fore feels left out

platypus

platypusSo im on this new diet, where i have to fight a platypus for all my food. so far its working out great. the platypus is dying of over eating and yep. now hes dead.

mourning

today i am mourning for the loss of my dear friend the loch ness monster who turned out to be real and dead sorry nessie oh and shoes

German

so turns out i'm German. So i'd would like to formally apolugize for world wars I, II, and...  knock on wood... III 

Sharpies

hey guys so i was playing with a sharpie the other day and it bled out on me dying my fur black i tried to wash it off but it wouldnt come out so here i am now

Parachute pants

well at was at this yard sale and i picked up some sweet parachute pants they are so legit its crazy like wow are those real some one asked me and i was like f**k yeah theyre real and then he was like oh no and we had a dance off it was so intense and i won which was the best part

da puppy bowl

so there were puppies on, get this.............. THE TV?!?!?!?!?! WHAT? WHAT? thats crazy. :crazy: the there were kittens, who couldnt even bark. i mean if u dont speak the language, you can get out!!! thats all i got for y'alls

excess neck fat

hey guys it turns out that after my short life i have accumulated excess neck fat so thats bad oh and giraffes are my new favorite color

Cats

whats up with that a new species i mean really why are cats even in the ball park for a new species like why are cats and soda any different seriously grape soda grape cats practically the same thing oh and go ravens wooh win the superbowl oh this just inned umm the ravens arent in the super bowl fine then nbc we will just watch the puppy bowl on animal planet huph

Pass times

one of my new favorite pass times is watching cars drive past
there are red ones and white ones and black ones and green ones and yellow ones and grey ones and pink ones and orange ones and purple ones and ones with fire oh and scarlet ones and brown ones and muddy ones and clean ones and new ones and old ones and striped ones and japanese one and american ones and small ones and big ones and ones with leather seats and there are some that have big tires and some that have small ones and trucks and mini vans and sedans and hummer and ford and gm and daimler and ferrari and smart oh and also i like flamingos

Shadow Ari on the loose

i was playing wii tennis with my ari mii and i had to box the shadow ari and i punched to hard so now he is out of the tv running around oh and strangely the tv doesnt work so no more george lopez for me

new video game system

i just went to the store and picked up my state of the art pong arcade system now i can pwn at pong the original what huphpotonous what oh and i decided that i enjoy making racist comments while at trader joes because sometimes there are other races there and it is offensive to them thats just me being controversial agian once at the zoo i was watching the giraffes and then they opened the giraffe feeding area but i could not afford it sadly so i challenged the giraffe to a game of pong but he has yet to text me back on his blueberry

my hero

steak(martin luther king jr erased)

it is my favorite food and it makes me calm
oh and i want to have its baby also there was a hooker in a tent in paris and liam neeson so watch out for that oh and i have a new fetish for cinnabons

Werewolves

i was at a rave for puppies called puppy rave 8 and then this werewolf came and crashed the party and turned everyone into werewolves except me so i had to fight off werewolves like in i am legend where i was will smith but i didnt die at the end oh and i didnt have to kill any puppies either so i deserve props on that oh and i like gingerbread it is yummy

Last nite

Poem song

Don't you call this regular jam

this jam is gonna rock this (culinary) land

Thees berries gonna take the world by storm

DOn't let the jam get warm 

LIke George Forman or rachael Ray

Aristotles superrior bery jam is here to stay

mike huckabee!!!

mike huckabee is runnin for prez '08!!!!!!!! whoo y'alls.i got huckafever. hes cnange to beleive in in. HUCKABEE '08. HES REPRESENTIN

my race

it recently came to my attention that i was white. this is pretty bad for me, cuz now i KNOW my membership request to the crips will be rejected.    your thoughts?

i took a trip

i took a trip to mexico and picked up some cuban cigars

ay dios mio

Back from russia

turns out i wasnt busted for selling drugs it was this other dog that didnt look anything like me now im back and i can speak a little bit of chinese weird

my foot

i think my foot is green. please help me

couch

so i pretty much sat on a couch like all day. until the pigeons came back. then i hid behind a couch. i hope one of them didnt get huphpotonous.

It was all a dream

The frogs they were hoppin

the mops they were moppin

and all those bops they were boppin 

so you think i know what i mean

well i don't cause

it was all a dream

Off to russia

i got caught dealing drugs at a coffee house off to russia

Shopping!

Me and my friend Bacchus were at american apparel shopping for sweaters and i saw this one really nice one that went extremely well with my eyes but then my friend showed me that it was for girl dogs i hate that store its so hard to tell

my new religeon

i worship the almighty couchfish. this is his blog

bad treats

sorry guys. aristotle ate some bad treats

fur

my fur... is like a million colors... whoa

oranges

oranges. i mean whats up with that right?

horrible fire

there is fire. everywhere. my eyes are coal. 

Pigeons are out to get me

i have been around the block a time or two so i know when a pigeon is thinking things and i saw these two pigeons talking about how much they like puppies for handbags and they thought that i would be a great handbag for holding all their pigeon things

now im afraid of boxes and ghosts but who isnt afraid of ghosts i mean seriously

i saw a movie

i was watching tv and this movie about a guy came on it was pretty interesting

he was all like woah man and then the other guy was like hey whats up and then they died

i liked the cinematography and in one scene there was a sheep thats straight up man 

aristotle out

controversy

i realized while i was in prison, that people love controversial blogs, so now i too shall be controversial. controversy like: whats up with persians? they all like "what?" and i'm all like "what u talkin about persians?"..... you know what im sayin???? probably not.

bail

i posted bails y'alls. i also got some jail tats. (is actually permanent marker but its the same thing.)

Break fast time!

i slept all night and when i woke up i was hungry so i ate break fast hooray

more medicated dog food for me

i wonder what huphpotonuse is doing

A poem

I dreamed i was a dinosaur

a huge destructive beast 

I walked around prehistory

and ate from a dinosaur feast

as i was dreaming a heard a roar

and then i turned my head

i opened my eyes and looked around

and i was laying in bed

i need cash again

ok ya guys. any mony sent to the send aristotle to animal planet fund, wwill go to my bail. so thanks for your  kind donatopns which probably is still just in the male. 

confessinons of a puppy

yos there. dere be somthing u'al need ta no. i killed a man in reno, so now im a convict oopsies :p. so anyways tilll i make bail ill be postin brom prizon

i was hungry againz

i was hungry again so i ated dinner now im not hungry bark!

i was playing tetris

i was playin tetris and i got my new high score ten points

i thought those tetris lessons would do more

i barked at the noise

there was a  noise so i barked

how i blog like dat

so pretty much i have three personalities. bot not that mental thing. just htree general ways blog. on s the self loathing one, which yalls farmiliar with. tha other two is da colorful one an dat other one, that hungry.

- fom ZZ dog

I discovered a new cite on das Internet YouTube!

grrrrrrrrrrz. im'z angry! no one has sent me there money. what there problem? i wantz to goez to animal planet!!!! fire!!!!!!! i is dis |-| clos to tottaly making an sangry face!!!! >=() GRRRRA

i wants to go to space

i was waatching a special on animals planet and i decided i would rather live on the animals planet than earth please send money so i can gets to animals planet

i saw another dachshund

i was walking down the hall and i looked out the window and saw another dachshund looking at me and so i walked past and then walked back and he was there too

scary things scare me i dont like stalkers

IM SO FAT!!!!!!!!!!! Stop eating fatty!!!!! And im lik no!!!!! StopITSTOPI)+RU RGSRTOPIRAHHHHHHHSTOPITNOICANTCANTCANTCANTCNATNACTCACACAT

CATNATNATANATNANCTNACNCTNACNTCACTNACIMSODEPRESSEDCANTCANT

CNATCTANCTACNCTACANT!   

popsmicles

so i was like dancing

so i was like dancinbg but then i wasmt and that was BAD. but so was !hitler!    ='() POPSMICLES 

Im Hungry

i woke up this morning and i was hungry for something good to eat